Bake and toss

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Yesterday I got my box from iHerb.com, (hurray!) I’m restocked on brown rice pasta, corn spaghetti, chocolate, pancake mix and some other basic stuff.

I have been starved from bread. A simple slice of bread is something I’ve been craving for. And sure I probably could have a slice of toast without dying, but my fingers are finally in such good shape, it’s just not worth it to me. So I had ordered “Gluten free pantry’s, Favorite sandwich bread mix”, and literally threw my self over it when it came yesterday. I was so excited that I was going to have a sandwich, finally!

Bake bake bake…

and….vomit vomit vomit! It was horrible! “Favorite sandwich bread” my ass.

Conclusion…I’m not a fan of rice flour. This was probably the cheaper flour mixes you could get. Basically just rice flours and it really gives it no texture to talk about. Seriously, I thought I was desperate but, that was just sad. I had my son “shoot and score” that thing straight in the trash.

Polar bear polar bear…

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My son is really in to books right now. Especially this one..

It goes..

“Polar bear polar bear what do you hear? I hear a lion roaring in my ear! Lion lion what do you hear? I hear a hippopotamus snorting in my ear. Hippopotamus hippopotamus what do you hear? I hear a flamingo fluting in my ear. Flamingo flamingo what do you hear? I hear a Zebra braying in my ear. Zebra zebra what do you hear? I hear a Boa constrictor hissing in my ear. Boa constrictor Boa constrictor what do you hear? I hear an elephant trumpeting in my ear. Elephant elephant what do you hear? I hear a leopard snarling in my ear. Leopard leopard what do you hear? I hear a peacock yelping in my ear. Peacock peacock what do you hear? I hear a walrus bellowing in my ear. Walrus walrus what do you hear? I hear a zookeeper whistling in my ear. Zookeeper zookeeper what do you hear? I hear children, growling like a polar bear, roaring like a lion, snorting like a hippopotamus, fluting like a flamingo, braying like a zebra, hissing like a boa constrictor, trumpeting like an elephant, snarling like a leopard, yelping like a peacock, bellowing like a walrus, that’s what I hear….”

I’ve read this book so many times over the past few days I’m seriously thinking of burning it….

I’ve tried everything to make it “feel new” again. I read it with a British, German or Russian accent…old Chicago gangster  movie style..I’ve sung it, opera, rap, rock..

But I’m on the edge here people….Polar bear polar bear what the fuck do you hear polar bear?! I hear mommy stabbing herself in the ear!

 

Onepiece to Japan!

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My friend and old colleague from H&M emailed me a few weeks ago. She now works for OnePiece , and she told me they’re about to launch the first OnePiece store in Japan, and therefore wanted to send me and the family some samples to roam around in. She’s so sweet and this thing is so flipping’ comfy!

I love mine! On slacker days in Japan, I could care less, I’d go anywhere in it. Sophia arigato!

Say what?

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There’s a baby clothes chain in Japan called Nisimatsuya. It’s wear house style, packed with random baby clothes, cheap! They also sell diapers, baby food, maternity clothes, strollers….basically anything baby related. We have one walking distance from our house and I go ever now and then to see what I can find. I love finding funny gifts for friends kids back home. T-shirts and apparel with some pretty “out there” sentences and prints, most of them making absolutely no sense.

I was getting baseball caps for my kids and these did not make the cut..

Just a thought…(the “I’m not kidding post”)

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My worst fear when it comes to my children is them choking or being abducted by pedophiles. No I’m serious..My heart hurts so bad when I hear about children being abused or abducted in any shape or form. And my natural chain of thought always goes from empathy  to fear to revenge.

Being realistic, there is very little chance to “cure” a sexual predator, and once you hurt a child in that way, that’s it for me. You get no more chances. So to save the tax payers money, let’s give them a quick (read slow) fix…my latest thought is the “cucumber spiral maker”. Remember..? It was a hot one in the 90′s on the TV shop channels.

A few turns with that on their fucked up little peckers… and voila!

Then you just ship them out on shark filled waters in a slowly deflating rubber boat.

Crazy? No, I’m a mother…