A year has passed

Four days ago it was the year anniversary of the 9.0 earthquake and devastating tsunami that hit Japan.

And every day for the past year I have thought about earthquakes, my children’s safety, about where to run, where to take cover, I’ve made it a habit to look up above me when walking anywhere. I always keep my eyes open for open “safe” spaces where ever I am. I rush my errands in department stores when I’ve got the kids with me, especially our local PARCO. Because I was a block away from it when the earthquake hit and I saw how it was swaying back and forth over the street below. I will never forget that. All the people who lost their lives and the ones that lost their homes in the tsunami. It’s hard to grasp.

This past year have been so mentally stressful and the first months back in Japan I was suffering from severe anxiety, and I’ve come to learn that anxiety can be mentally paralyzing. And it’s exhausting. Although I still think about all this, at least the anxiety is under control.

Another thing, here we get “early earthquake alerts” via the cell phones as well. It gives you about a 1 sec heads up before a bigger quake is hitting. Phone blinking and this extremely stressful warning alarm sounds out. That to me just makes the whole situation worse. Cuz now you have the alarm and the shaking at once. I mean what can you do in 1 second? …The whole night after the earthquake my phone was going of with quake alerts. I was on my toes, alone with the kids, because my husband was stuck in Nagoya till the next morning..STRESS-FULL!

Last night we had a 6.1 and “brreep! brreep! brreep!”, both mine and my hubbys phones goes off at the same time, a second later the whole building is rocking back and forth. Kids sleeping, we’re just pausing, looking at each other, looking at the light swaying above the table. I don’t think you can ever get used to it, but at the same time you are…it’s weird. Scary and it is what it is. The earth is alive.

My thoughts are with the people still struggling with the aftermath of this tragedy.

 

Stunning!

I know I know, I’m bios, she’s my baby sister. But remember this face because I have a feeling we’ll see a lot of her in the future.

My sister

My youngest sister Lone, channeling Lagerfeld in a Swedish ad.

Too cool for words really.

Where I stand

Me and my girlfriends have been heavy in to discussions about religion and politics lately. I’m not very deeply involved in either, but I know where I stand. And I stand firm.

Growing up in Sweden, religion does not have a big part in your daily life in general. A professor ones said he believed about 46% of Swedes were atheists, but when asked only 17% see themselves as “non believers”.

In a recent survey 53% of the people asked said to believe there is “some sort of spirit or life force”, 23% believe there is a God and another 23% were “non believers”

In school we learn about the “big bang theory“, we learn about evolution, we have “Religion” as a mandatory subject from 4-9th grade, depending on the schools curriculum, where we learn about all the big religions and cultures in the world. I went to Bible study in 7th grade, and I found it interesting, but am I a Christian, no. Do I believe in God, I do. I believe God is in everything, I believe in Karma, I believe in the evolution, the big bang. I believe in spirits and past lives, but nr 1, I believe in being a good human being. I believe in empathy and putting my self in other peoples shoes, and not only see to my own situation, being open minded.

I believe we’re all equal, we should all be treated the same, have the same rights. Regardless where you’re from, skin tone, who you love or what religion you belong to. (Exception, pedophiles not included)

I believe you need to be responsible for your own actions, treat others the way you want to be treated. I don’t want to belong to a religion that preaches about sin. I believe in using my common sense. If I do wrong I make it right.

I believe health care is a human right and so is education, for both men and women.

I believe in love and I believe in paying it forward. I believe that religion is important, when people believe they have hope.

To me, the most frustrating thing about religion is peoples inability to respect each others beliefs.

I believe we need to get better on smiling at each other (Swedes really need to work on that..), hold doors for each other and so on, and you know what, greed is not attractive…

..and with that said, I also believe I need to go to bed. Sweet dreams everybody!

A casting..

I really haven’t had my hopes up about going to any castings this season. It’s been so incredibly slow for me, so I kind of just dropped the whole modeling thing for this year. I bumped in to my booker outside the agency one day, I had the kids and she saw that I had shaved my sides,  I hadn’t even bothered giving her heads up on my new hairdo but she was cool with it. That told  me right there that the “slow” status for my part wasn’t gonna change anytime soon.

I would like to work more of course but at the same time I understand how the business works. I decided to start a family right when I was on top of my career in Japan, and maternity jobs in Japan is not happening. They’d rather use seventeen year olds with fake belly’s rather than a real preggo. So having 2 kids in 3 years kiiiind of made me an “outer” on the market.

But then yesterday I finally had a casting, for Shiseido. And I love it, now that I fall in the “mature” bracket, meaning 40+ audience. You can label me what ever you want baby. Mature, older, ripe….as long as you keep calling me in for those castings.

I’ve been to plenty of Shiseido’s castings through the years but I’m not their type so even though this casting went well, I had a feeling…and with my shaved hair…probably even more so “not their type”. But it was cool, I got to see some of my old girls. Girls that’s been here modeling for as long as me, some are on their 10th 12th year now. All of them have husbands or boyfriends now, kids and “regular” lives. No more six days a week club hopping in Roppongi and then straight to photo shoots Oh the carefree crazy old days…

My agency had changed my composite too, and I love the picture they chose and I’ll tell you why. This picture is 7-8 years old, but it means so much to me because I had just met my husband when it was taken. The picture was for a beauty magazine, shot in Osaka. And I remember I was at the train station in Osaka, on my way to a hotel and I had the shooting the next morning. And just as I get in a cab my future husband called. Like, we had just met a few days earlier and I was head over heels and literally floating above ground the whole next day at my job, thinking about him! So every time I see this picture I get that butterfly feeling in my tummy again. This is when it all started. It’s all about the love baby

Happy Birthday!

Our little curly-haired princess turned 4 yesterday! Cake breakfast deluxe before papa had to hit the road…

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And so I carve another tally mark on my wall. Had such a nice non eventful day today, flowers from hubby and just chillin’ with the kids while my husband was at work. Me and Hanna baked apple pie and she’s been singing and dancing for me. I’m pretty boring, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted for my birthday, nothing that I needed. I don’t want my hubby to buy me something just to buy me something.

We got our heaters professionally cleaned last week and I was so excite, because that’s something I’ve wanted to do for the longest time, being the mold/dust paranoid that I am,  so my husband said jokingly “happy birthday!” 

Hey, I’ll take that! Thank you! Seriously, the air is so much better now! I practical gifts!

And of course, the sweetest note on Facebook from my husband…

“Happy Birthday to my Lovely Anna Takahashi-Dorsey!! I feel truly blessed that it’s me who gets to truly experience and appreciate everything that is you!! You are the most BEAUTIFUL!! I’m so in LOVE with you!!!!!!!!”

oh how I love that man…

I’m also thinking of starting off my new year with a new hairdo..

Think I’m going short again, like this…

Push it..

Another beautiful day in Tokyo today! Me and my friend Alex favorite thing to do is to go for long walks, sometimes we have a goal, other times, like today we just walk aimlessly hoping to bump into something interesting…

I think we walked the back streets of our town for a couple of hours…and then realized we’d ended up at one of our regular spots, Sengawa.

hill, two big kids in a double stroller....tiered..

 

Passed the pink house that my daughter loves so much, took a picture of her.

Good morning 2012!

How was your new year? Fun? Are paying for it today?

Last night I feel asleep in my daughter’s bed, watching Team Umizoomi with her. Woke up at 11.50pm only to relocate to my own bed, where i found my two guys snoring in synch. And then up at 7am. A new day and a new year, that I started off like I do any day, with a cup of coffee and some soy milk.

My husband who was off from work today, likes to “be funny” and made a comment,  hinting that I should get on with the cleaning…he thinks this is hilarious, as he himself is planted on the sofa with the computer on his chest. Stuff like that tics me off, cuz I do nothing but pick up everybody elses shit. Yeah you know, how many times have I said this before…

Anyway, I started angry cleaning, pretty effective actually. And I was almost about to get unpleasant, but as my couch potato put it. “Happy new year!”…I snapped out of it, and my daughter took over. Holy hell, she was in such a horrible mood all day! It made me look like a daisy in comparison..

And we had a 7.0 earthquake close to Tokyo. I didn’t feel a thing, I think I was vacuuming at the time. My friend and neighbor said her whole apartment was shaking and me and my husband was just looking at each other wondering how we could have missed it. I’m not complaining though…

What I’m wondering is, is this just a taste of what is to come? Please no…

We took the kids to the park for a bit and it just turned in to a cry and scream fest! If you have kids, you know when they start crying over everything, they don’t make any sense and it doesn’t matter what you say. That kind of mood. And it kept going till they went to bed. I’m sitting at the kitchen table over looking the living room…the house was clean for a minute, my better half is back in horizontal position on the sofa, snoring. Gosh I love that big lazy man of mine…

and yeah, I’m sitting here wondering how concerned I should be about the Mayan calendar only goes to 2012….

Thanks and good bye

Good bye 2011 and Happy new 2012! I gotta say it now cuz I know neither me or the hubby will last till midnight…haven’t for the past 4 years. Yes, we’re an exciting couple me and my husband.

My husband asked me if I had any new year resolutions, absolutely not. I’ve only made one new year promise ever in my life, when I was 11 or 12 and promised to not eat any candy for a whole year, and my mom would give me $200. A moth in to the new year I cheated and had 2 salty licorice candies, I felt horrible for the reminder of the year and by the next new year when my mom told me how proud she was of me, for keeping my resolution, I broke down and confessed. I couldn’t take the money, cuz I indeed had eaten 2 candies 11 months earlier. My mom said it made her even more proud that I was so honest and I she gave me the money anyway.

This past year has even an emotional one. I lost my grandma, and the 3/11 earthquake was a lot to handle, that alone was emotionally draining.

But also a lot of love and laughter, watching my children develop and grow in to such crazy little buggers.

I just want to stay healthy and happy, for my family and friends to stay healthy and happy. And everyone else too of course… And please, less natural disasters…I can’t handle it…

So what ever you’re doing tonight, ringing in the new year, I wish you the best!

….21.50…watching my husband walk towards the bedroom….over and out…